Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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