ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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