how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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