Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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