I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He did a backflip because drugs
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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