I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize