Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
