so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
