there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
