You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
