i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
