Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
