I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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