I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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