I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
