I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize