so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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