thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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