Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
