Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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