i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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