If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
