I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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