I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
