Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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