Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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