what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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