I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
