I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
