do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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