I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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