I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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