He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
