i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
