The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
