Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
