East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
