I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
