weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
