Can i not drive my cunt home
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
