for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
