We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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