it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
