My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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