You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
