He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize