so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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