in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize