let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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