Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
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you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
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We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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