i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
