We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
