My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
