Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
