A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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