I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
