I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize