the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
