oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
