am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
